Shannon has been overseas for almost a full 2 months now! Adjusting to her absence has been easier than I thought it would. But honestly I think having three extra room mates in our home has eased the emptiness.
I am hanging out this morning in Luke chapter 1 - Thank you Dr. Luke for your pen oh so long ago!! I am blessed ~
I have been praying over a recent relational rift. Ever have those?....Oy, they are ever so unpleasant!!
I hurt two people whom I love greatly. They are unwilling to speak to me, angry and full of blame toward me for my words. My intensions and my heart were pure, however my means tore at the core of intensions, staining them black as tar.
I spoke from my experience, from my youthful regret and from the passion of a desire to see them remain faithful to God’s call that I, and countless others, have witnessed upon their lives.
I do not regret my words to my friends. I massively regret one thing, not presenting my words face to face rather than typing them.
Their reactions may have been the same - prideful blame & anger coupled with an unwillingness to talk it out with me. Face to face would have afforded them the opportunity to see my eyes of love, the eyes that long for them to see clearly what I was unable to youthfully see - that the cost of choices made can be higher than we ever intended to pay.
Reading in Luke 4:16-30 I am understanding Jesus to be saying something like: ”Look guys, you don’t see this clearly, you are viewing it through the prism of blindness and of false justification.”.
I am not a fan of being hated, of having loved ones or aquatints believe that I deserve to be silenced to the point of non-existence. Conversely, I do not fancy avoiding truth in the name of “peace”.
Abba I pray that my friends will turn toward YOU and run from their falsely justified choices - they both know your truth!!! Let them forgive me for their sakes, because your word is clear that unforgiveness is a silent killer of souls. Let them see that my gaffs are not You!!
Allow them the grace to repent even now as I am typing this. Let them run into your arms of freedom and mercy and walk in the joy of all that You desire for their lives. I love them so greatly - I long for them to be free in Christ and unhindered by the things of this world so that their gifts can be used for Your kingdom. Loose upon their hearts and minds the promises that you spoke to them in their childhoods - Your covenant truth by your blood!!!
I love them Jesus - I love them more than I hate being hated!!
